I’m currently in a crossroads in my life. On one hand I have a good career that has a lot of potential. My bosses are really good, and they’re always supportive. I can’t thank them enough for molding me into a professional and a leader. I’ve rose through the ranks in the past 3 years pretty quickly and this wouldn’t have been possible if my superiors didn’t keep on pushing me to become the best I can be. Almost 70% of who I am now is because of the online gaming industry. On the flip side, there’s another path calling me. This one leads me to a very familiar place – one that has also nurtured me from the time I was born till the day I decided to join the online gaming industry. There are risks involved, but if I succeed, I believe that I would have already paved that way for a good future for myself and my family. This is really the biggest decision I’ve yet to make in my life, and this is what you can really call “life-altering”.

I’ve been very fortunate and blessed in the past few years. I can’t believe that I’ve always looked up to God and kept on challenging Him when He was always providing for me. Doors have always been open for me – opportunities that pique my interest and taps into my passions. Who would have thought that I would make a good career out of gaming? The concept itself is really bizarre! Because of gaming, I was able to make a name for myself, get a solid monthly cash flow, and even buy a car. I now find myself standing in awe of God’s blessings in my life, and humbled as well since I always kept on doubting him.

So the question is – do I take one more leap of faith? All the signs in the past few days have been telling me to do so. Doors keep on opening and my imagination keeps on running wild every single moment of the day, thinking about the opportunities this new adventure will bring. Just last night, I realized what it meant to have your brain on fire because I really couldn’t sleep as my mind was flooded with visions of what could be! Is this another blessing from God? Or am I throwing away something that he’s already given that has made me become a better person?

In our small group last week, Pastor Dennis told me that his guiding principle in life is pretty simple. In every decision he makes, he asks himself what’s his motivation in making that particular choice. Is it fueled by greed, malice, pride, or are the intentions pure? I ask myself that now and it’s honestly a mix of both. There’s an innate sense of pride in making this decision, but there’s also a genuine desire to serve and put deserving people into positions that will really uplift the state of this country.

Arghhh! What to do. I’m really torn on this one, hehe. Is it really my time? Is this really what God wants me to do? Is this what I really want to do? I’ve never been faced with such a difficult decision before in my life and thinking of leaving what I have now is just gut-wrenching. However, it’s also difficult to ignore what my cousin explains to me as “calling of our blood”. It’s gnawing at me from the inside, begging to come out and be part of my life. I know I’ve already used so many metaphors already, but I can’t help but say this as well. So this is how it feels when you say “it’s in your blood.”

When the time finally comes, I pray that I make the right decision.

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