A few weeks ago the article “5 things you should know before dating a journalist” came out and became viral. This was written from the point of view of a journalist who wants to tell their would-be suitors what to expect if they started dating. This article got me thinking (since I’m married to a journalist myself) and I just want to contribute to the discussion. Here are somethings to keep in mind if you’re married to a journalist. 🙂
1. They work long hours.
Reporters are probably one of the most hardworking people in the world. They pick their stories, lead a team (cameraman and driver), go to various sources for interviews, writes their spiel for TV, delivers the news for TV, helps with the actual editing of the story, pushes stories to producers to air their stuff, and sometimes they even have to repurpose their stories for web and other shows. Oh… did I mention all of that happens in one day? They come home, sleep, and they wake up and do it again. Note that sometimes the story they cover can be physically taxing or even dangerous.
You have to be very understanding of your spouse. There will be times you will have dinner alone or your date won’t push through. There will be times they’ll be late for your gimmick with friends or family occasion. Don’t stress them out by guilt-tripping them because there’s no point to just making them feel bad unless you’re a masochist (if that’s the case you shouldn’t be in a relationship at all).
2. Learn how to give a good back rub.
This is tied-in to the first note. When reporters come home from a long and tiring day nothing will make them feel better than a good back rub. A 15-20 minute back rub will help take out the stress from your spouse’s mind and make them feel that they’re “home”. If you don’t know how to give a back rub, LEARN. Check Youtube for videos or go have a massage yourself and remember the good techniques.
3. Be extra sweet and affectionate.
You have to “jolt” your spouse out of her reporter mode and literally pull her mind out from work into your home. The back rub is a good start but you also have to be extra sweet and affectionate. Give good hugs… and I’m not talking about the 1-2 second tap on the back hugs. Remember “ECK143”.
E – Embrace. Use both arms. Pull your spouse close to you and wrap your arms in a loving hug.
C – Caress. Use your hands and gently rub your spouse’s back or forehead.
K – Kiss. Plant a gentle and sweet kiss on the forehead of your spouse.
143 – Say “I love you” and “Welcome home”.
When tired people come home what they’re really after is sleep and not “home”. For a person to feel that they’re really home you have to make them comfortable, loved, and relaxed. Using pet names is also wonderful for any relationship. It’s a way to signal to your partner that the hard part of the day is over and now is the time for lovin’. Remember: ECK143.
4. Yes they need a lot of clothes.
Reporters appear on television a lot and they go to a lot of press conferences and events. They need a lot of clothes so that they’re presentable and properly dressed for TV and all of the occasions they go to. Giving them clothes is a good gift also because they’ll be using what you gave often.
5. Be in the know.
It will also help a lot if you familiarize yourself with the beat your spouse is covering. I’m blessed that my wife covers the business beat which is something that I just love to follow myself. I’m also very immersed in politics and current events so it’s never a problem for me if she wants to talk about what the big news items are that happened in the day or if she needs some additional insights for her articles.
However while it’s good to be in the know the last thing you want to do is to make your reporter spouse feel like you know more than them. Even if you do, don’t bother trying to take the posture or position that you do, hehe. 🙂
6. Take awesome and mind blowing vacations.
Here’s the thing: reporters work regardless if it’s a holiday or not. In fact they sometimes have more work to do when it’s a holiday. They will have a hard time filing their leaves because of the nature of their job. Since this is the case you have to make the most of the vacations that you have with one another. Save up and plan for mini-retirement type vacations so that each break is something that they’ll remember for a long time.
7. Bring the holidays to them.
Like what I said earlier, reporters work during holidays like Christmas and New Year. Make them feel special by bringing the holidays to them. Bring them food or gifts at the office because this will remind them that you go the extra mile and that you really love them.
8. Don’t bother lying.
This was listed in the “5 things you should know before dating a journalist” article and I just want to put it in this list again to emphasize it. One of the skills of a good reporter is their ability to ferret out the truth and their natural (and incredible) “spider sense” which alarms them when someone is lying to their face. Don’t bother lying because not only are you sinning against God but you’re also going to get a major smackdown from your spouse because they’ll see right through you.
9. They will edit your work (Kawawa ka pag blogger ka)
This is a good thing. Yes, it’s good thing. Just think of it as them making you look better because they can spot all of your grammatical errors. Hehehe.
10. Pray together.
This piece of advice is for any couple, regardless if there’s a reporter in the relationship or not. Mich and I have been together for 10 years now and I can honestly say that they best is yet to come because we put God at the center of our relationship. With God’s grace and the support of our friends I’m confident that we’ll have a beautiful life together. <3
To end let me just quote something that our Pastor said during one of his messages:
If you want to be treated like a King by your wife, treat them like your Queen.